Loneliness

I mean where do I start.  I want to get out of this misery.  Don’t you. Music I listen yes.  Alcohol. Yes  all the therapies.  Yes I do this too.  I want to write this book.  My inspirations come in my dreams.  How do I start.  

Thoughts thoughts of dying

Thoughts.thoughts

Thoughts of dying

How could I do this

How would it be

Just go to sleep

If only it was just me

I would

I could

You are not here

You are there

Where would I go

How would it be

Just so tired 

No one here 

No one there 

Just sleep

I can’t do this life

Not much more 

If I had a knife

To cut right 

Through

I would 

You know

It would be over

This life

It would be done

No more pain

No more getting through each day 

The sun would set

Over the ocean

Sweet waves 

Washing it away 

All the pain 

Of this day 

Gone with the wind

And the rain

Of this day 

 By Me

My descent into hell

It started with you

My love took me there

It descended more 

Love.  It drives you there 

Then you keep driving 

Further into

Your own demise 

How to get out 

It’s like quick sand

Pulling you more and more 

Love with all its pain

Drugs alcohol they numb the pain 

But it doesn’t go away

It’s there the next morning 

It returns 

Then what 

You deal with it through the day

Then night comes again 

And it’s there 

Staring you in the face 

The life of a love addict

The life of a drug addict

The life of an alcohol addict

How do you come back 

How do you return 

By Me

I remember one day 

I was crying

I was In so much pain

I was insecure

I wanted you

I wanted so much for you

I wanted you to be happy 

I wanted the bike for you

But I was scared

I wanted you to want me the same

You put your arms around me and I dropped to my knees

I didn’t care at that time why

All I felt was you.  

I still remember the feeling. 

I won’t forget.   

There was this guy once

Said he loved me

Took me out on dates

Smiled when he saw me

Loved to touch me

Wanted to see me

Talk to me

Could not stand to be away 

There for me

In the shadows 

Dark and tall

Sweet and small 

There was this guy

And when he left 

I knew he was there 

He said he loved me

I thought it was true

But then there was this shadow lurking 

Who was this

But he said he loved me. 

I was confused 

He said he loved me

But was that true 

There was this guy once

He was tall and dark 

He said he loved me

But was that true

He didn’t smile at me

He didn’t want to touch me

He was not there. 

He went away 

To other things 

The breeze was cool 

The touch was gone

The air smelled like the wind

They say your soul is there

The spirit is alive

I looked at the Sun

I saw my soul

It was alive.  

By Me

From Him

You’re a horrible shrink.

This relationship is tortue

I love you

I hate you

You are a snake poking and provoking me to say these things

You are mean and spiteful and selfish

You told lies and I just discovered the truth I only said what you told me already about yourself. (That you f..BG).

You spent the night with a guy

While you were married.

You are mentally ill

No one that gets to know you likes you

You should stay single

You really were awful

borderline videos

You were really awful

All I got was a shitty friend

You have so much potential

He ruined you

You’re not the person i started dating

That was fucking rude

I hate you

You’re borderline

You’re a professional victim

I hope you get the help you need

You are mean to me

You are not playful at all

Its not fun anymore

No one can talk to you

You cant be in a relationship

That sorry was pathetic and drunk

You should have been a good girl friend and had sex with me anyway. You did this to me on purpose. You felt guilty and thats why you didn’t want to have sex with me

All my friends said I am

right and you are crazy

No one likes u when they get to know u

U should stay single

U were really awful

Psycho

I almost left u after HS

Yea lll eventually ghost u

Hope this trip gets better

You always bail when things are going well

You are taking one of your cold spells

You always beg me back

You left here humiliated

No one can talk to you

Go away

I hate you

You are not a good person

You lied and cheated

You felt guilty that night thats why you didn’t want to have sex

Almost left after HS  I took viagra

Head fuck

Fake ass

Cold

Heartless

ReplyForwardAdd reaction